


Secret

by Fallenangel_Winchester



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean Winchester Being an Idiot, Ficlet, Light Angst, M/M, Pining, Protective Dean Winchester, Secret Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-14
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2020-01-13 11:24:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18467953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fallenangel_Winchester/pseuds/Fallenangel_Winchester
Summary: Dean has a secret he's afraid to share.





	Secret

**Author's Note:**

> Just a short thing for the prompt secret

Everyone had secrets, everyone had something they didn't want to share for various reasons. Despite knowing and experiencing how holding things back almost always ended up badly, Dean held some things for himself. 

Yes, the painful memories and experiences, the fears he buried so deep he was afraid to look down in fear of not seeing the bottom, the self-hatred that he controlled as best as he could before it could poison his mind...All of those were in a way secrets, not enough to destroy him, but enough to open old wounds if used wisely. There was another secret Dean held close to his heart, a small thing that shone like a star and kept him warm when he was at his lowest and most desperate. He hid it well, trapped it behind things that were too dangerous to be spoken out loud and sometimes he even managed to forget about it. Then something would happen and it will awaken the little light and he would feel it flutter like a butterfly trapped in a jar, waiting and begging to be released. Those times, the words hung heavy on his tongue, his mind pressuring him to let it out while his heart ached exactly for that. But as always he swallowed them and pushed them as far as he could without giving anything away.

Despite his best efforts, sometimes Sam would give him a look that told him that he wasn't fooling him, but he would let the whole thing go and Dean was extremely grateful for his brother's empathy at those moments.He knew how it would feel to put his heart on the line and to have it broken, he also knew that he was a difficult man and that he was capable of breaking hearts and disappointing the people he cared about. And he couldn't, wouldn't do that to the only person who was able to see through him and consider him worth saving, to consider him a family. Those deep blue eyes filled with endless trust were the only ones that could soften his sharp edges and pull him back from whatever reckless plan he had thrown himself into. And whenever the angel would ask him how he was doing with genuine concern in his voice and soft and inviting gaze, he couldn't lie or hide behind his confident smiles that were obviously fake, so he talked.

The angel didn't deserve his gruff attitude when he was worried, the glares and the way he'd push him away just so he won't accidentally admit his feelings, yet he stayed with them, the ever loyal friend.He was family, friend was too small of a word for how inseparable part of his life he'd become, he grumbled and rolled his eyes but whenever he was in danger, Dean threw caution in the air and fought as hard as he would for Sam.

So many times they were close to death and Dean didn't want to add him to the list of people that could be hurt just so they could get to him, friendship was better.

Sam cornered him one day and pulled the truth out of him and it felt so freaking good to have someone else who would support him, but he didn't.His little brother was stubborn and he was both understanding of his situation while at the same time reprimanding him for his stupidity. He reminded him that caring for each other only made them stronger and that if he had a chance to be happy he should grab it with both hands and hold it.

_ For people like us, that's like more than we expect. _

But Dean had learned long time ago not to expect much or wish for things he can't have, it was just another way to torture himself. It was an old habit that he couldn't shake, besides he was quite content with just having the angel around.And if he sat a bit closer to him while they watched movies, no one commented on it, if his hugs lasted longer no one complained and if he called just to hear his voice with a stupid excuse, well no one noticed it. Those small moments were enough to give him strength to hold the secret a bit longer and for the longing to increase while he soothed it with his words.

_ Next time.  _


End file.
